Annie’s Song

Published by ginam0

My name is Gina, I am 18 years old and this is my second semester of college. I was born in Sacramento and have lived out my life in my tiny two bed/ two bath east sac home with my two sisters and parents. In most ways, I grew up very fortunate. My mom dedicated herself to her work with the Los Rios District so that she could provide a comfortable life for her children, something she lacked as a child. I was lucky enough to attend private elementary and high school; I went to Christian Brothers. I don't like to view myself as a victim in any way because I truly was given so many opportunities that many people do not receive growing up. However, one of the biggest obstacles that I had to overcome came after my transition from middle school to high school. I faced a lot of bullying my freshman year. I had always been a little bit sheltered due to my private elementary background, I had only ever gone to school with about 35 other kids from kindergarten-8th grade. A certain freshman boy showed interest in me, and did not take it well when I rejected him in a decent manner. Before the school year had even started, he spread a rumor about me preforming sexual acts with him. At the time of the incident, this really broke me down. Other guys would meet me for the first time, and while still being 'friendly' towards me, would bring up the rumor or joke about it to get a reaction from me. Some girls looked at me differently, and this rumor felt like I carried a sign above me everywhere I went or that I was under a microscope. I had never even remotely come close to being with another person before this incident. I cared a lot about what people thought of me, and this created a negative self-image. I was also very small at the time (both my parents are small, my mom was small when she was young, and my sisters and I all were very small as kids), and multiple other boys made jokes about my body in front of me, and one (another reject) even posted a comment about me being "flat" on his snap chat story. The hardest part for me throughout all of this was not having an adult or anyone wiser than I to talk to. Both of my parents are loving, but out of touch. I never have had a strong enough relationship with either of them to bring up this embarrassing situation I had gotten into, and for the first few months I believed I brought it upon myself by even being friends with the guy who started it all. Especially when I kind of knew he had different intentions than I did. I think overcoming this obstacle really helped me grow into a smarter, happier person. I stopped desiring to erase the rumor or revise my reputation, I just learned to accept myself for who I knew I was, and be happy with the people around me who loved me. I felt free from judgement because I simply learned to not care anymore about what people thought of me. Eventually by doing this, the bullies caught the hint too. I think this is one of my biggest triumphs because learning to accept yourself is a huge part of becoming an adult and accomplishing your dreams. I also am proud that I survived the bad high school experience on my own and by the end of it, turned it into a good one. I learned to trust myself, be more independent, and confident. My biggest passion in life right now is to complete my degree and live out a loving life. I want to be happy and surround myself with the right people. Creating a family and surrounding my kids with love is my biggest passion in life. View more posts